Insomnia

I thought that I'm already let it go, I thought that I can really give it up. But in this few days, It's just happen to me, all the things just like yesterday, oh gosh~ I just realise that I haven't done it, and somemore keep it into a very deep corner inside somewhere. I thought I've been doing it, but actually I'm not, and it's just keep in a very very deep corner and now only come out again. I never thought that I can love someone damn deeply in my life, nobody will understand include you, cause you never love somebody like this with full of your love. You haven't teach me how can I don't love you before you leave me, You haven't teach me how can I live without you, You haven't teach me how can I don't miss you every single day since the 1st day I fall to you till now and it just like a mission never miss this mission any single days before till now, You haven't teach me how can I stop my tears again, You haven't teach me how can I forget our things, You haven't teach me how to open my heart again to somebody, You haven't teach me how going to stay for so strong, You haven't teach me how I'm going to face the real, You haven't teach me this all before you leave me alone... It's many months ago, but why all the things still very fresh in my mind? and now why my mood, my tears, my situation just like the day after you broke with me? Sorry that I loved you. Sometimes I was thinking that may be I need to have Amnesia then I only can quit from there? sometimes I was thinking so many times to the wrong way, is it only I die, then all the things only will die together with me and won't hurt me again? My heart damn pain now, just like someone is using the hand to koyak my heart... It's really pain enough!

It's now very early in the morning, but so surprise that I'm already awake, insomnia for few days... doesn't eat for yesterday but I didn't have the mood to eat. may be will diet back to 43.7kg again? haha~ I'm quite fat now... the most heavy kg for me now 52kg... may be the case will happen to me again let me diet 9 kg within 2 weeks?